Things We Forgot Happened in 2018

What a year etc! ‘Someone put 2018 in rice’ hehehe, and so on. A whole two years since people turned 2016 into a “burning dumpster fire” cliche, “everything’s awful” is still a mantra that mostly helps people cope with the fact that the world makes no sense (and is due to start choking us in 2030 anyway). Look, you get the idea. As people who spend an unhealthy amount of time online when we’re not at gigs or interviewing artists or injecting music directly into our veins, the news cycle easily turns into a bit of a blur for us at Noisey dot com. Chances are, it might have for you too.

Musicians put out projects (albums, EPs, mixtapes, Instagram magazines, whatever) at such speed that a major label act’s impact can feel like a quiet ripple within a week. This year, Drake put out an album – remember that? Within a couple of weeks, no one was really talking about it. And you can be honest about how many times you’ve listened to it all the way through, it’s fine. Beyond American rap beef, Azealia Banks vs Elon Musk, the screaming white noise of constant sexual misconduct allegations and Dave and Fredo getting to number 1 in the UK charts (!!), few stories have managed to stick around for more than a few days. Lucky you: we’ve gone back and rounded up some of the ridiculous, often dumb shit that did indeed happen in 2018 and that you probably forgot about.

Someone created a pizza-fucking hoax on a music cruise

Lana Del Rey defeated Radiohead

Tyga denied knowing anything about furry porn, ANYTHING

Victoria Beckham said the Spice Girls wouldn’t reform to tour lmao

Young Thug said he wanted to be referred to as SEX

Diddy said he wanted to be referred to as LOVE

Jeff Goldblum said he wanted to collab with Migos

Rihanna rubbed £720 million off Snapchat’s (well, Snap Inc’s) value when she said they should maybe refrain from making light of domestic violence

Ed Sheeran was apparently in a legal battle with some newts

Craig David serenaded a London bus for corporate content

The Endless vinyl people ordered in November 2017 was actually shipped

Hackers deleted the “Despacito” video when it hit 5 billion views

Jessie J was on a singing competition as a contestant, not judge – and won. It was in China

Speaking of which, Nicki Minaj went to China to perform at a festival that might not have existed

Jesus, the “Nice for What” video was this year

Katy Perry was in a court battle with some nuns

A black woman artist said the Black Panther “All the Stars” video ripped off her paintings

Oh, and the whole OST got the chopped’n’slopped treatment too

Tom Hardy’s 1999 rap mixtape resurfaced

Beyonce and JAY Z made a music video IN THE LOUVRE

Justin Timberlake wrote an album about being a Man of the Woods, which he promoted with a video set in the future featuring a weird robot (?!)

And wait, hold up – Childish Gambino released “This Is America” too

Plus, Snoop Dogg got tired of people sending him sex dolls

Cheryl I Don’t Know What Her Last Name Is Now and Liam Payne talked about sex during the live broadcast of the BRIT Awards lmao

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