Mosh Pit Madness

Mosh pits might seem dangerous but they’re actually the most fun you can possibly have in front of a loud stage at a live venue. If done properly, a symbiotic relationship forms between the audience and performers as complete strangers crash around and surf on a turbulent wake of studded leather and weird hairstyles. Originally called slam dancing, moshing is so integral to thrashy shows that fans are basically required to expect and embrace the human whirlpool of chaos. The uninitiated, however, might benefit from some helpful pointers:

Five Tips to Master the Mosh Pit:

1. Wear tight pants. It’ll keep your stuff your stuff. Pockets must contain only what is absolutely necessary. Casually bumping into people is an old pick-pocketing technique, and a bunch of boozed up punks with a lack of respect for any and all authority, will remorselessly rob you blind.
    
2. Use your forearms as mini-shields—not weapons. Have your arms bent at the elbow and raised slightly, thus better preparing yourself for unexpected collisions. If you’re both blind and brave enough to go out there wearing glasses, you might want to keep your arms raised a little higher unless you want your spectacles to eventually be held together by tape or just smashed up on the floor with the rest of the sweat, crushed beer cans, blood and snot.
   
    
3. Keep your feet in a wide stance. Whenever you find yourself relatively stationary in the midst of frenzied ramming, this is a simple way to gain stable footing and avoid falling on the gloopy, beer-soaked floor. Which is also why you never wear canvas shoes, so leave them at home. A stampede of steel-toed leather boots makes them tantamount to flip-flops near heavy machinery and falling glass.
    
4. Don’t start fights. Mosh pits are like the “grown-up” version of schoolyard play fighting. Those who start acting like turds will find out sooner or later that although the mosh pit is pure bedlam, it’s also a place where judgment is deft and ruthless: losers will get what they deserve.
   
   
    
5. Pick up anyone that falls down. This is the cardinal rule of moshing. You’ll see the crusties slamming leather-studded jackets into each other’s teeth, but once one of these dudes slips and falls, they will put the flailing of their arms on hiatus and hoist their brother up and back into battle. Don’t forget any cute punk girls that may have fallen in the pit. Nothing says chivalry like lovingly picking her back up. Kiss her hand for full effect, and then continue raging.

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Illustrations by Rachel Cameron