Men Fall in Love Much Faster Than Women, Here’s Why

Forget the old cliché that women are the emotional ones. Turns out, it’s actually men who tend to fall in love faster—and often, earlier—than women.

According to a new study from the Australian National University, men tend to fall in love earlier than women, by about a month on average. But, it might not be all about the feelings; it could actually be a strategy.

“This may be because men are more commonly required to show their commitment to win over a partner,” said Adam Bode, lead author of the study. In other words, falling fast might just be part of the pitch.

The research pulled data from over 800 young adults across 33 countries, all of whom were in the early stages of a relationship, like the first two years, when love still feels like a shot of tequila to the brain. Participants were asked when they fell in love, how intense it felt, how often they obsessed over their partner, and how committed they were.

Women, as expected, reported thinking about their partner more often and feeling things more deeply. But they didn’t necessarily fall faster, and they weren’t the first to commit. That distinction belonged to the men.

One twist: more than 39% of people, regardless of gender, said they didn’t fall in love until after they were already in a relationship. So much for love at first sight.

Why Men Fall in Love Way Faster Than Women

The study is part of a larger effort to understand how biology, culture, and even politics shape how we “do” love. Bode and his team found that people in more gender-equal countries actually reported less intense romantic feelings overall, including less obsessive thinking and lower levels of commitment.

“Romantic love is under-researched given its importance in family and romantic relationship formation, its influence on culture, and its proposed universality,” Bode said. Which is science-speak for: we still barely understand why we fall in love, or how it works across sex, gender, or identity.

The dataset, pulled from the 2022 Romantic Love Survey, is the largest of its kind and will be used to inform future theories about how romantic love evolved. And, part of that means re-examining the tired idea that women are the hopeless romantics while men are just along for the ride.

Instead, it’s more nuanced—and possibly a little cynical. Falling fast might not be about raw emotion. It might be about getting chosen.