Everyone Is Confused by How a Bagel Caused This Drunken Brawl on a London Train

Stage left: A woman on a train places a bagel on her own head.

Hard cut to stage right: Two completely unrelated women are screaming at each other on the same train with a confusing caption that reads “Lost it mate” beneath.

These few seconds of video set the stage for a prolonged and bizarre glimpse into the darkness that emerges when a bunch of drunken adults in a confined space—with access to a seemingly endless supply of bagels—recently used food to fuck with each other on a London train.

Eventually, the strange parallel lines of stage left and stage right begin to intersect, only amplifying the human drama unfolding before an audience of rowdy commuters.

Welcome to London #BagelGate pic.twitter.com/KcJoz0ycZU

February 26, 2017

Captured by Twitter user Dougie Stew, the so-called “#BagelGate” video has become a modern-day Zapruder film, ultimately leaving viewers with more questions than answers. Plenty of play-by-play analysis has already been written about #BagelGate, with many seeking to understand why and how one man, known only as “Bagel Boy,” became the target of infinite bagel ammo.

We prefer to treat this as the work of unintentional work of art that it is, open to many interpretations. It is as much a PSA about the childishness of drunkards as it is a testament to the effectiveness of food as a weapon of psychological warfare.

There are only so many times you can put a bagel on a man’s head before he finally breaks.