For the Love of Chaos

Everyone has those friends who habitually date crazy people. What is with that? Is it the drama? The sex? We’ve all been through wild relationships, but there are some people who seek them out, time and time again. We tried to get to bottom of it by talking to two people, a girl and a guy, who are addicted to chaotic relationships. It turns out falling for crazy has a lot to do with being equally as insane yourself.

Heather Fortune is the mouthy pop diva behind Oakland punk band Wax Idols (Hozac Records). Fortune is extreme in every way from her hairstyle to her clothing to her Tweeting to her dating history. She is a complete masochist drama queen who craves chaos like the inside of a tornado. Fortune opened up to us about what exactly drives her love of crazy.

Next, we talked to Mac Anderson. Also a musician, Anderson has traveled all over the world with his bands, but currently resides in the deep South. Unlike Fortune, he doesn’t want to mirror his own craziness in his partners, but instead tries to be a rock for others to rely on. Bad move.

HEATHER FORTUNE

I think I attract crazy because I am crazy. I attract neurotic, self-obsessed, tall, sleazy types which is essentially me. I am a narcissist and I end up being attracted to people who are, more or less, exactly like me. This usually ends in disaster, heart-break, torture… great pop songs. I don’t know why but I constantly try to find security with the least stable people on the planet. It obviously never works which is why my relationships are so dramatic and crazy. I date these nut jobs and expect them to be Mr. Perfect all of a sudden, just for me. It’s delusional.

My worst relationship was when I started dating this guy who had a massive reputation for being a dirtbag. He had infamously treated women terribly. I pretty much hated him and then, all of a sudden, I was dating him? I don’t know how it happened. I dove in. I thought he was gross, but I was also really attracted to him. And I’m not good with break ups. I go completely insane. It takes me a long time to get over it. I usually end up sleeping with my ex for at least a month or two after it is over.

I fall in love easily too, at the drop of a hat. With anyone or anything. I could fall in love with a chair. In fact, I’m sure I have been in love with a chair.

But I know all this, so I’m trying to eradicate the last remaining “square” thing about me – which is the way I am in relationships. I am trying to be more honest with myself and the people I date, which means that I no longer believe in monogamy or the idea of belonging to anyone or having anyone belong to me. It’s really hard because I am pretty insane and have a jealous streak. I am really trying.

MAC ANDERSON

I usually attract women that so badly need to get their shit straight and overwhelmingly don’t want my advice, yet still need someone seeming to care. They are all intellectual types or at least faux-intellectual types. I like listening to people and understanding them. Everyone is “crazy”, but crazy people love to talk about themselves. They just don’t really want you to understand them because then you would stop listening but you usually reap the benefits in the sack, if you know what I mean.

My toughest break-up was one that ended in 95 missed calls within 24 hours, then a deluge of calls from blocked numbers, semi-stalking, empty threats of initiating vendettas, a plague upon my house and the like. Why? Attachment and a somewhat earned lack of finesse at detaching on my part. And it’s not that I thrive on this stuff, well, maybe a third of me does. My friends never give me a hard time about my relationships, though. Maybe these girls put on a front, or they might just only be crazy in this one facet that not everyone sees, you know?

Maybe this sounds like bullshit but I like the idea of people growing together, but that turns into a totally awful one-way street when you find out the other person is just interested in drama. In my experience, it takes a while to figure out.

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