E-commerce Is Slowing Down. Is It Because of Package Theft?

E-commerce’s stratospheric growth is slowing down. The retail industry began tickling the bells of doom even before Shopify’s stocks dipped 19%, when it warned of an e-commerce slowdown in April. Meanwhile, brick-and-mortar stores are having a Renaissance moment.

Nobody expected any knight in shining armor to come along and boost e-commerce in the months since, and well, none did. Here’s a rhetorical question for you: Do you, like me, wonder how much of may be due to customers sick and tired of their packages being stolen? Fucking porch pirates, man.

Save time, then eat the loss

More and more, I run through a new equation when I’m about to place an online order from anywhere. Does the order cost more than $100? Ok, if that’s a yes, then I’m already more predisposed to walking into a physical store to buy it, or to pick out something comparable if I can and if my first choice isn’t available in stores nearby.

Then line two of the equation is whether the item being shipped is of a category of goods particularly appetizing to thieves. Electronics? Shoes? Furniture? Yeah, fat chance I’m going to order that to my door. Two years ago, sure. Maybe even a year ago. I’m older, wiser, and thanks to the goddamn package theft scourge, a fair bit poorer.

it’s getting worse

New York City’s Gothamist reported on the increasingly organized and brazen package theft in the city. But it isn’t just a big-city problem. Capital One published a lengthy, meaty report on October 15, 2024 about package theft statistics, reporting that “Suburban consumers are 50.3% more likely to be victimized than urban residents and seven times more likely than rural dwellers.”

It’s rare these days that I order anything costing over $500 if I can’t pick it up in a store. Two months ago I had $800 of motorcycle gear shipped to my door, and I felt forced to stay home all day shitting bricks in fright that somebody with sticky hands is going to scoop up my box like a malevolent Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Every week I walk past new posters put up by residents pleading with thieves to stop stealing their baby formula, pet food, and grocery deliveries. I wouldn’t go as far to say that it’s the e-commerce companies’ responsibilities to solve the enormous infrastructure problem. It wasn’t created by them, although it has been exacerbated by their business models. There’s only so much individual customers can do.

But until the day when the ease of ordering online isn’t automatically canceled out by a hefty scoop of all-day anxiety, I’ll keep on ordering socks and bars of (fragrance-free) soap online, no problem. The big, expensive stuff? I’ll pretend it’s 1999 and get it in store.