The streets of Melbourne on Saturday night were abysmally dry, empty and uninspired. The reason? Every last hot person in town was at 524 Flinders Street, siren-called to the bowels of the CBD by Oniomania’s launch party.
All traces of the launch party’s promotion have been wiped off of Instagram; the account’s grid has been returned to its former state of mysterious idiosyncrasy. Just a bunch of stills from God-knows-whose houses, hoarder-cluttered with clothing, knick-knacks and assorted objects – a nod to the brand’s namesake. The captions are ominous, like a mire of patience brutalised into submission and the bus goes round it does. Whatever Oniomania is, the launch party was fabulous.
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Walking into the space, rows of white chairs formed a U-shaped runway, seating the beautiful and cunty masses. Located down the forgotten end of the city, beside the deteriorating relic once known as Sea Life Aquarium, 524 Flinders is somewhere between a DIY venue and nightclub. And this mysterious event promised a runway show and afterparty — standard fare for Melbourne’s club kids.
I’d never seen such a concentration of hot people, in hot outfits, as I did at the Oniomania launch party. It was overwhelming. I wanted to cry, scream, hurl myself against the wall in rapture. But I didn’t. Instead, I decided to capture what I saw, so that the memory of that night could live on.
Here it is:
it doesn’t even matter how many raccoons died for your choker when u look this good
and IF YOU’RE NOT MATCHING YOUR VAPE TO THE VIBE WTF ARE U DOINGrare MELBOURNE UNIForM REPRESENTATION! the fandom is dying! CLOWN CORE IS OUT WE’RE ROCKING WITH WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST X SWAMP SLUT
the hot popular girls but THEIR HEARTS ARE ALSO AS PURE AND PRETTY AS THEY AREW SHIRT AND BOOTS. IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WAS A 14 YEAR OLD BOY IN A DOLL’S TIKTOK COMMENTS. BUT INSTEAD I SAY: THE FIT IS EVERYTHING
this pic is so slutty it’s dangerous to be around and now u know why we call her bellait’s in the mf detailstelling my kids this was john wayneif you say “icon” three times in the mirror she appears
for every 1 of my articles you read, the odds of VICE affording to buy me a proper camera go up 0.06%oniomania co-founder joel… i think they said rick shoes, and i can’t remember the rest. I can make it up though.Balenciagaaaaaaa
the two wolves inside u are sweating rnRAINBOW AND VALONA >>>>>>>i am OBSESSED WITH THEMIT’S INSANE HOW BEAUTIFUL LIFE CAN BEnelly knowwwwsssthis is exactly what i think the urinals are like 100% of the timeME WHEN IM LITERALLY AN ANGEL???SO COQUETTE
NOW!! THIS!! IS!! A!! SKIRT!!she’s so prettyyythey’re so prettyyystunning legs… hair… face… body……. she’s sickening!!!started editing this and half way through it started to get annoying so i gave up. you are welcome
this was actually the original design for the xavier college uniform, but the parents’ board protested against its cuntiness. also, once i get budget for a real camera it’s all over. just you wait… you’ll all seeand is this “natural photographic talent” in the room with us rn?
now it’s time for photos from the runway… sit down.the grey sweatpants… are so important to methe bag reminds me of 101 dalmatians only the dalmatians have scalped cruella to make a novel line of human hair shoes and accessories
like lizzie mcguire said, “hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of. hey now, hey now”frothy and filled with whimsystudies show the human body was never destined to witness something so hot and sexy
if the millennial skank had access to the early 2000s footless tights crisisthe closing look. im speechless. starved for air. on my knees, sobbing.
RAINBOW AND VALONA >>>>>>>
