‘Crusader Kings 3’ Has an Adult Mod So Immersive That I’m Literally Blown Away

Crusader Kings 3 is a game I haven’t touched yet, even though some of my closest friends have sung its praises. I mean, I know if I start playing Crusader Kings, it’s over for me. I’ll clock into work, write a bunch of articles about futanari anime women and transphobic VTuber agencies, and then play Crusader Kings 3 until midnight. I just don’t have the strength to handle a game that lets you turn Europe pagan and eat the Pope.

Maybe it’s time to change my mind, though. Because the modding community behind this game is intense.

You see, some Crusader Kings 3 players felt the game was missing a vital and well-documented part of European history. Futanari. No, not people from the small town of Futani, Italy. I’m talking about the anime trope depicting women with enormous, phallic, and penetrative penises. Crusader Kings 3 didn’t offer much representation for this group in the base game. So, one modder decided to add a full-blown futanari character system into the grand strategy title.

Since then, this futa mod has blossomed into something so massive and immersive that I’m honestly shocked no one else has done hard-hitting investigative games journalism about Crusader Kings: Girldick Edition. Bloomberg? IGN? Where are you?! Luckily, Waypoint’s official futa journalist is on the beat, so it’s time to take a look at the long, hard road to Crusader Kings 3‘s most popular futanari mod.

‘Her balls are light, but not for long’

Days after Crusader Kings 3 released in September 2020, the Carnalitas sex mod framework dropped. The system offers advanced sexual engagements with other characters and a wide assortment of adult-oriented features. Want to become a sex worker? You can do that. Want a specific breast size? Sure. There’s even a “lactation framework allowing you to lactate from pregnancy and keep track of milk production.” Carnalitas has since become widely adopted by modders, as it includes frameworks for Dominant/submissive relationship structures, sex scene implementation, and custom pregnancy events.

Oh. And futanari characters. Carnalitas also adds futa characters in the traditional sense as seen in Japanese hentai, i.e.: women with penises and vulvas. However, the Carnalitas framework doesn’t really do much with futas beyond adding them. They’re just kind of there as an optional inclusion in the game.

Crusader Kings 3 modder Phaze Star noticed this lack of content and got to work. Thus, “Phaze’s Futanari Mod” was born. The system was added to adult modding site LoversLab in late 2023, touting “events, mechanics, and flavor” to “make Futa more interesting to both play as and also to have as AI.”

Today, Phaze’s Futanari Mod is one of the most viewed and downloaded adult mods for Crusader Kings 3. LoversLab lists it as the 16th highest viewed mod, with over 60,000 users picking up Phaze’s futa features. Just how horny is it? One Redditor called the mod’s futanari women “a disaster.”

“There’s nothing good to it,” that user said. “In this mod, futanaries are always in a sex drive. They just literally fuck everyone on the street, alleyways, including you if they get the opportunity. They have a sexual stress level. [Once] it’s crossed, they go crazy.”

Wow, sounds just like Bushwick! HAHA! Brooklyn, am I right?

‘Are those… Ball Bras?’

Phaze’s Futanari Mod mainly revolves around a health trait called “Backed Up,” which depicts “the collective strain of a Futa’s semen production” and her “urge to release it.” A screenshot from the game shows a futa character’s penis and balls, along with the phrase, “Her balls are light, but not for long.” Uh oh! You’ll have to manage futa characters’ pent up horniness from all that seed, or else things may get a bit too rowdy. Or “hilarious,” depending on your point of view.

A glorified sexual frustration system isn’t the only interesting part of Phaze’s Futanari Mod. Futa characters can have children, use condoms, hire a sex worker to manage their sexual frustration, and grow a futa society across Europe. You can also enjoy the game as a “Milandrite,” a futanari who doesn’t have a vagina. Every religion feels a certain way about futa characters, and, of course, you can “struggle against oppression as a Landless Futanari Adventurer.”

“Take up Futanari-only contracts from sisters in need!” Phaze writes. “Act in defiance of public opinion, or rely on roguish tactics with specialized Futanari agents.”

That’s a lot of futa features. At this point, you might as well just call the game Futanari Crusaders 3. Even Phaze admits the mod “started out with the intention of being a small sized” futa update and then grew into “a very large, very detailed expansion of the mod’s content.” This includes a full-blown futa dynasty system, “cumskin” condoms to “help prevent pregnancy,” and a thigh strap to “wear used condoms on your person.”

There’s also a ball bra you can get for your futa to “help decrease stress gain for Futanari and most importantly, eliminate the stress gain Futanari with low hanging balls received.” And yes, you can choose between a boring, regular ball bra or a “luxury variant.”

Honestly, I never thought I would write the term “ball bra” in a published article, but here we are.

Phaze’s Futanari Mod 15.1 is available for free via LoversLab and only requires Carnalitas to operate. Chinese, French, and Russian patches also exist for the mod. Just be warned, the creator does use Pony (seemingly Pony Diffusion V6 XL) to create some of the mod’s artwork. So, if you’re not a fan of AI art in your adult mods, you might want to steer clear.