Chicago Comedian Wants Mia Khalifa to Out More Cubs for Sliding into Her DMs

Mia Khalifa is a righteous queen of shaming DM sliders. She’s outed Broncos “Mr. Irrelevant” QB Chad Kelly, Bills safety Duke Williams, and earlier this year, she roasted Cubs catcher Willson Contreras. Her timeline is like a graveyard of famous people’s shitty game. So why do they keep coming back? Maybe—just maybe—it’s for the luck.

Khalifa has outed so many people that it’s gotten to the point were you can create trends off of it—like how you can account for the severity of hurricane damage based on how many Waffle Houses are open. Roy Wood Jr., a comedian who’s featured on The Daily Show who is a big Cubbie supporter, happened to draw our attention to a certain trend that’s—clearly—causal: the Cubs have been playing off the chain ever since she roasted Contreras.

So, in preparation for the series opener tonight against the Nationals, things jumped to the logical conclusion: more DM outing, please.

It’s only logical, Mia. More slides into DMs, more slides into home. Maybe Tom Ricketts is next.

h/t TheBigLead