Americans Spend More Time Alone Than Ever, but Maybe We Need It

While mental health experts warn of the loneliness epidemic and its effects on our collective mental health, particularly that of young men, at least one psychiatrist out there is arguing that maybe a little bit of loneliness is what we all need.

Virginia Thomas is an assistant professor of psychology at Vermont’s Middlebury College. In an essay in The Conversation, she argues that for as much hubbub as there’s been about people living and dining alone, there is a less panicked, purposely less vocal, more nuanced side of the so-called “loneliness epidemic” that researchers call “positive solitude,” wherein people choose solitude as a means of self-protection, which includes doing psychologically beneficial things and eschewing things that are not.

You would not be very positive solitude-y if you’re, say, all alone doom-scrolling social media.

There’s a Loneliness Epidemic, but Maybe It’s Not Such a Bad Thing

The whole panic about loneliness overlooks a major detail: People like being alone sometimes.

Use that alone time to recharge, reflect, grow, and maybe commune with your artistic side. Or your spiritual side. Not just being stuck in the endless scroll of doom.

Thomas points to a 2024 national survey that found that 56 percent of Americans considered alone time essential.

As with all things, moderation is the key. Thomas argues that we shouldn’t overindulge in solitude but rather view it as just one tool in a diverse, well-stocked toolkit. As much as we may like being alone, too much of it, especially without a community to fall back on, can turn into isolation, and that’s when the sadness creeps in.

There’s a balance, and it’s all about making sure your “me time” doesn’t turn into the kind of deep, profound loneliness that tortures rather than revitalizes.  

The real trick? Reframing how we think about being alone. If we stop seeing solitude as a bad thing and start embracing it as an essential part of a balanced life, maybe we’ll stop stigmatizing it and actually enjoy our alone time, guilt-free. And get the hell off of social media if you’re feeling lonely. It’s not actual human interaction but a synthetic version of it that can often just be empty calories.

Maybe the people telling you to “touch grass” have a point; just remember—don’t feel like you have to touch grass as a group activity. Not always, anyway.